In the Most Unloving Ways

I haven't blogged in a short while simply because I haven't been able to decide what to blog about.  It has been a busy time with lots on my mind and I haven't been able to settle on just one thing to share above the rest.  It's kind of like walking into a store finding lots of fabulous items perfect for yourself, yet walking out with nothing in hand.  When it is too difficult to decide between many things that are all great, sometimes it is just easier to not make any decisions at all.  So ... I decided to just start typing without a plan, which is completely out of my character -- and as I began to type I had a teacher text me a quote.

During the school year I send out a daily email which includes all of the need to know information, such as the forecast (which I've learned the staff loves), guest teachers in the building, and any other pertinent information for the day.  On Mondays, however, I also include a weekly mindset.  Monday Mindset.  And recently some of the staff have shared quotes they've come across for me to include.

Now back to the text I received.  As I began to type my blog with no determined message, the quote "The kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving ways" showed up as a text with a message 'for your Monday memo'.  I have seen this quote several times and remind myself of this daily as students are  being defiant, yelling or rolling their eyes at me.  Recognizing that there is a deep rooted cause for the disrespectful behavior often helps me not take it personally and guides me as I try to problem solve with the students.

But that's actually not where my mind went when I received the text.  After a few messages back and forth with the teacher about the importance of this message, I began to wonder about this stance when dealing with adults.  Would it hold true?    Adults too, can exhibit unloving behaviors.  Often, they have just developed more sophisticated ways of doing it.

So, would it be logical to think, "Adults who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving ways?"  I'm not sure if I know the answer.  However, I do know that when students or adults are exhibiting disrespectful behavior I approach it in the same manner -- try not to take it personally, recognize that there is a deep rooted cause bigger than anything I've done or said, and then initiate a conversation to solve the problem.  And, so far, dealing with unloving behaviors in this manner has yet to fail me.

Amber Dembowski